


Regrets

by Rebekah_Zellers



Category: NCIS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 17:35:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16067990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebekah_Zellers/pseuds/Rebekah_Zellers
Summary: Gibbs harsh words and bitter tone haunt him after Tony's injured in a car accident.





	1. Chapter 1

The case was long and gruesome the team working days on end to kill the scum that was murdering children on a marine base. Finally, eight days in and the teams was ready for a break. Vance had sent them off with instructions to eat, sleep and take five days to recharge.

 

"Campfire steaks?" Tony questioned as Gibbs grabbed his jacket. "I'll grab some groceries and beer."

"Go home, DiNozzo." Gibbs tone was clipped; he wanted the three B's.. basement, bourbon and his boat; Tony wasn't fitting into the scenario for the respite.

"Breakfast burritos ala DiNozzo tomorrow?" Tony watched the anger flash in Gibbs' eyes and actually stepped back.

"I don't want you there," Gibbs snapped and Tony's mask slipped a bit.

"You want to go get something to eat Ellie? Tony?" Tim tried to soothe the hurt the best way he could.

"No," Tony choked out. "I'm going to go."

"Go where?" McGee yelled after the Senior Field Agent.

Tony walked away without a word; his shoulders slumped, his head down. Gibbs watched his agent step into the elevator and swipe at his face as the doors closed.

"Damn it," Gibbs muttered.

"No disrespect, Gibbs." Tim moved to stand by his boss. "You were an ass to him. Any case where you are shot at, he comes over. He needs that reassurance that you're okay so that he doesn't have nightmares."

"You trying to make me feel guilty?" Gibbs questioned; he really didn't need any help in that department.

"Trying to get you to understand something," Tim sighed. "You're family to us; to some of us you're a father figure. This team is our family; your family and we don't do that. We haven't done that since Ziva left."

"I'll go check on him," Ellie grabbed her bag and phone. "He cannot be too far."

Ellie wasn't able to catch Tony before he got out of the parking lot; driving in the direction of his condo, she found no sign of him. Picking up the phone, she called Tim. "I don't see him anywhere; it's starting to sleet. Do you think he's okay?"

"Knowing DiNozzo, he just has to deal with it in his own way. He probably went to one of his men's groups. I'll try calling him later."

Gibbs and Tim walked out to the parking lot together; both slipping on the ice as they walked to their cars. "Text me when you get home, Tim."

"I will," McGee paused. "If you need me after you find him; I have no plans for the next five days."

"I'm going to give him until tomorrow," Gibbs sighed. "Get my head on straight and apologize."

Tony's vision blurred with unshed tears; in all the years that he had worked with Gibbs the man had never, not wanted his company. He tried not to make a nuisance of himself and was very aware of how much time he spent at the older man's home; limiting it to a couple times a month instead of a couple times a week.

The ice was accumulating in the road making the slippery. The conditions were starting to decline as sleet turned over to snow coming down at three inches an hour according to the radio. No sense of time or direction in his confusion and sadness had Tony out in the middle of nowhere when he finally decided it was time to get off the roads.

"Shit," Tony groaned when he pulled off the road. Programming his GPS for home, he started in the direction of warmth and food. "Keep it together, DiNozzo."

Gibbs sat in his basement listening to the TV as he worked on his boat; the incident with Tony playing over and over in his head. Tony hadn't asked for a confrontation; he didn't want to be alone.

"Really screwed the pooch on this one Jethro," Mike's voice filled the basement. "The kid just needed some time to wrap his head around the fact that you're okay."

"I know," Gibbs sighed. "I wasn't thinking."

"Damn straight you weren't," Mike's ghost growled. "How many beers did we share after a close call?"

"Too many to count," Gibbs gave a sad smile.

"Fix it," Mike's voice was sharp and Gibbs knew he had to make it right.

Making his way up the stairs, he grabbed his jacket and started out the door only to stop when he saw the amount of ice hanging off the tree branches. "Damn it." Turning to go back in, he felt a sharp twinge in his gut and a painful ache in his chest. Rubbing it away, he stepped inside only to feel his blood turn to ice when the phone rang.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Jethro Gibbs?" A male voice was on the other end of the phone.

"Yes," Gibbs hesitated.

"This is Sgt Connors; I got your number out of what remains of an Anthony DiNozzo's car."

"Is Tony okay?" Gibbs put his coat on.

"Sir," Sgt Connors hated his part of his job. "I'm sorry to tell you that he was killed in a car accident this evening. The paramedics just stopped trying to revive him; they did all they could."

"Put the phone to his ear," Gibbs growled.

"Sir?"

"Put the damn phone to his ear, now." Gibbs voice was something the officer knew well; he was a marine that was in pain.

"Go ahead, Sir." Sgt Connor called from a distance as he held the phone to the dead man's ear.

"Tony," Gibbs' voice cracked. "Don't do this to me. DiNozzo, you will not die! Don't you dare die, Tony."

"We got a pulse," a paramedic called. "It's weak but it's there. We have to move."

"Gibbs?" Sgt Connor was stunned, confused and a bit amazed.

"Which hospital?" Gibbs spat as he skated his way to the car.

"Bethesda," Sgt Connor answered still stunned.

Gibbs managed to pull into the Emergency area just as the ambulance arrived. His heart skipped a beat when they pulled a blood covered Tony from the back. His head was wrapped in copious amounts of gauze that was soaked through with blood.

"He's not breathing on his own?" Gibbs asked as he made his way into the ER alongside the stretcher.

"He has a severe head injury," Mike, the paramedic called. "He was dead when we pulled him from the car."

"His heart is beating now?" Gibbs knew it was a stupid question but he needed to hear the answer.

"It is," Mike replied. "By some miracle it is. Wait out here; they will come get you once they have an idea what is going on."

Gibbs paced the ER waiting area, the team had gathered bringing coffee and prayers. It was two hours before anyone came to talk to Jethro and when they did; his world almost shattered.

"Agent Gibbs?" Dr. Collins stepped into the waiting area.

"Yes," Gibbs walked up to the doctor with Ducky right beside him.

"Anthony has gone to surgery," Dr. Collins motioned for the group to have a seat. "He has suffered a severe head injury, several internal injuries that required immediate attention. We took him directly to a surgical suite where he's been for the last two hours. We can't explain it but right now, he's holding his own. However, you should prepare yourself that surviving this surgery with those type of injuries is pretty unheard of."

"You don't know Tony." Gibbs whispered. "Where should we wait?"

"Second floor to the left as you get off the elevator," Dr. Collins watched as the group made their way to the elevators. "God be with you and your friend."


	2. Chapter 2

Gibbs paced the small waiting room like a caged animal. "McGee," he suddenly turned to his agent. "Find Sgt Connors and find out what happened and see where the remains of DiNozzo's car have been taken."

"I'm on it, Boss." McGee pulled out his phone and walked to the far end of the floor to the cell phone area.

"Jethro," Ducky stepped up to his friend. "Sit down for a few moments; you're exhausting yourself."

"I did this, Duck." Gibbs sputtered. "I snapped at him; he was upset when he was driving. I might as well have..."

"Stop it," Ducky shook his friend. "You cannot undo the past, Jethro. You simply must push it aside and work at helping that boy now."

"Tony was hit by a semi," McGee reported. "The driver fell asleep at the wheel and hit Tony."

"Family of Anthony DiNozzo?" A nurse came out from the surgical area. "The surgeon asked me to come give you an update. Anthony..."

"Call him Tony," Palmer corrected. "Especially if you're talking to him; it's Tony."

"That is helpful!" The nurse smiled. "Tony's vitals are stable; he's doing better than they anticipated with the surgery. With the extent of the injuries Tony has suffered; he's going to be in surgery a while longer. Normally, I would send you down to the cafeteria for a break but I have been informed that agents from your office have gathered in our chapel with food and things for you. It's just down the hallway to the right. I'm giving you this cell phone; we'll call you if we need you. Otherwise, we'll come down and find you."

"Thank you," Ducky kissed the woman's cheek. "Please go let our young man know we're all here and that we're not leaving him. That will mean a lot if he knows."

Palmer placed his hand on Gibbs back and gently pushed him towards the chapel. "You need something to eat and drink; we have a long road ahead of us."

"I did this," Gibbs pulled away from Palmer.

"You were behind the wheel of the semi that hit Tony?" Palmer stood in front of the Senior Agent. "I didn't realize that; then maybe I should have McGee slap some cuffs on you."

"Mr. Palmer," Ducky moved towards the duo.

"Don't," Palmer shot a look that made Ducky stop in his tracks. Turning back towards Gibbs, Palmer took another crack at the older man. "You've never been a self-centered man, Gibbs. You sure as hell do not deserve to start now. This is about Tony and what Tony needs and not about how you screwed up. To be honest, you've screwed up a lot over the years; hurt him more times that I have fingers to count and yet he forgave you each time. You don't get to wallow in self-pity; you will pull your head out of your ass and be there for Tony."

"If he lives," an agent snorted as he walked past on his way to join those that were holding vigil.

"What did you just say?" McGee shoved the agent into the wall. "What did you just say?"

"If he lives," the junior agent stammered.

"You have no clue anything about the man of which you are speaking," Tim pushed harder into the agent's throat. "I suggest you spend time praying for him because if I hear you talk negatively about my partner one more time; it's going to be you that need the prayers."

Gibbs took a breath and watched his team; they would kill for Tony. "Let's go inside; eat." Gibbs put a hand on McGee's shoulder to pull him off the thoughtless agent. "

Gibbs and the team ate and all were ushered to an area to rest; Tony's surgery was now in the seventh hour wearing on all of them. They had fitfully napped waking every time someone walked by the door.

"Agent Gibbs," the nurse gently shook the dozing agent.

"Tony?" Gibbs sat up, instantly awake.

"The surgeon is on his way out; I thought you'd like to know." The nurse handed a fresh cup of coffee to the man before her.

"Doctor?" Gibbs met the surgeon at the door.

"He is alive; he's very weak. There was significant blood loss and trauma. We've repaired the bones in his legs and left arm. Tony suffered a skull fracture and what we call a Diffuse Axonal Injury. Simplified, his brain rattled around in his head during the accident. A diffuse axonal injury also causes brain cells to die, which cause swelling in the brain. This increased pressure in the brain can cause decreased blood flow to the brain, as well as additional injury. The shearing can also release chemicals which can contribute to additional brain injury."

"How much brain damage does he have?" Jethro scrubbed at his face.

"We don't know," Dr. Martin replied. "If he wakes up; we'll evaluated then. You should know that only 10% of patients with this degree of head injury actually wake up. You need to prepare yourself for the fact that Agent DiNozzo may stay comatose until the day he dies."

"We should notify his father," Ducky said softly. "The man has a right to say good-bye to his son."

"DiNozzo's not dying, Duck." Gibbs growled and followed the surgeon out of the room. "I want to see him."

"You have to understand," Dr. Martin paused. "He's in a coma; the machines are essentially keeping him alive at this point. He does have brain function which is good. Before I let you in there, know that there are a lot of tubes, wires, machines, bandages and swelling."

"I don't care about any of that," Gibbs muttered. "I just need to talk to him."

"I don't know that he can hear you," Dr. Martin was gentle as he spoke.

"He'll hear me," Gibbs vowed. Making his way into the room, Gibbs felt as if the air was sucked from the room and his heart from his chest. There was so much swelling that Tony didn't even look like his boy. "Tony, I know you can hear me in there. You sleep for a while and get stronger; mend. You're mine and I take care of my own, Tony. You got that? I've got your six."

An odd blip on the heart monitor brought the doctor's attention from the chart in his hand to his patient's bedside. "I've never."

"Never what?" Gibbs questioned

"He's responding to your voice," Dr. Martin started making notations in the chart. "I've never had a patient this fresh from surgery with this type of injury respond before."

"You've never had Tony as a patient," Gibbs leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Tony's ear. "You don't have permission to die, Tony. You hear me; you're not dying from this."


	3. Chapter 3

"Gibbs?" Senior walked into the waiting area where Jethro was on his ninth cup of coffee of the morning. "How is he?"

"He's in a coma," Gibbs whispered. "AJ, he's bad. You need to realize that. The doctors aren't holding out much hope for him but I know Tony and he will fight."

"I'd like to see him," Senior's eyes were moist with unshed tears.

Walking down the hallway to the ICU cubicle seemed like a long and strenuous journey. Before opening the curtain, Jethro turned back to the elder DiNozzo to give him one last warning. "There are a lot of tubes and bandages. He's got a great deal of swelling."

Walking into the cubicle, Senior's heart starts pounding so hard that he swears people can hear it. Taking a look at this son, the tubes, monitors and oh dear Lord, the swelling..... backing away; the older man heads to the door. "That's not my son; where is my son?" His voice is panicked and broken.

"AJ," Gibbs pulled the man into a hug. "You have to pull it together for Tony's sake."

"Gentleman," the afternoon shift nurse came in to change Tony's bandages and check to see how he was doing. "Agent Gibbs, would you like to help me?"

"AJ?" Gibbs moved out of the way. "He's your son; would you like to help?"

"No," Senior shook his head. "I don't want to be in the way."

Stepping up to the side of the bed, Gibbs donned a pair of gloves and started doing exactly how the staff had shown him previously. He had gained a great deal of practice over the week since Tony had been admitted.

"Social Services will be coming down to talk to you about his long term placement." The nurse finished her duties and made her way out of the room.

"Why are they talking to you?" AJ questioned. "I'm his father."

"Tony made me his next of kin and power of attorney years ago," Gibbs explained. ."

"I am here now," AJ turned to the door as the social worker, Tammy arrived.

"Agent Gibbs," Tammy smiled. "I have the long term plan for Tony's care drawn up. Are you ready to review them?"

"I will be taking care of that," AJ stepped between Gibbs and the female painting on a smile to charm her.

"I'm sorry," Tammy moved around AJ. "Tony set this up a long time ago. There are specific instructions that state you are not to be involved in his care due to your inability to commit to being a father."

"Excuse me?" AJ grabbed the folder from Tammy's hand. There on the second page down were the instructions regarding Tony's father. "He really didn't want me involved." AJ handed the chart back to Tammy and made his way out the door.

"I'll be right back." Gibbs spoke softly to Tammy. AJ was at the elevator punching the button angrily when Gibbs caught up with him. "He wrote those instructions fourteen years ago; you're not the same man that you were then."

"He was right," AJ sighed punching the button again. "I have never put my family first; it's all been about money and business."

"Time to change," Gibbs turned on his heels and walked back to Tony's room; he had things to get taken care of for Tony. By the time AJ returned, Jethro was looking at brochures of long term care facilities with good rehab wings per Ducky's suggestion.

"When he is going to be moved?" Gibbs questioned.

"They are hoping for a week," Tammy watched as the Gibbs processed the information and AJ hung in the corner. "The nurse is going to come in to do his bath; I will get the paperwork started with your choice and we'll get things moving."

The week went slowly; the progress that Tony made as far as healing from surgery went well but he remained it the coma. The team took turns reading to him, playing music for him. Breena and Jimmy brought movies and kept running commentaries going while they watched. AJ stood back just taking in the whole scene when he would show.

The night before the move to the facility, Gibbs made his way home; he needed sleep. Dreams plagued him; he kept dreaming of Tony waking up hating him for the part he played in his day; that day. The tone he took with Tony; the words rang in his ears. How could he have been so damn thoughtless to treat his boy like that.

Unable to sleep, Gibbs got up and found some paper. He made his way around the house looking to see what modifications could be made to someday bring Tony home. A ramp to the front and back were sketched; Gibbs figured out how to remodel the downstairs bathroom and drew up plans to turn the screened in porch into a bedroom so that Tony wasn't on display in the main area.

The ringing of his phone pulled Gibbs away from his drawings. "Yeah, Gibbs."

"Agent Gibbs, this is Tina. I am Tony's evening nurse. Sir, If you can come back to the hospital; I think Tony needs you."

"What's wrong?" Gibbs questioned as he pulled on his shoes and grabbed his keys.

"He's really restless; he's pulling at the tube with his good hand. We're hoping he tries to fight the vent soon but he's just too agitated and we're afraid he'll hurt himself. The doc doesn't want to sedate him yet; he wants you to try to calm him."

"Tony," Gibbs called out as he entered the room. "I'm right here. I've got you now. Breathe for me, buddy. You can do this. Calm down and make those lungs work; you've done it before. Come on DiNozzo."

Alarm bells filled the air as Tony's body started to jerk. "Get a doctor in here, Tina yelled as she pushed Gibbs to the top of the bed by Tony's head. "Talk to him, Gibbs. He's probably scared."

"His muscles are spasming," Dr. Collins called out. "Get the Diazepam, let's try to calm these muscles down."

Tony started to make keening sound around the tube that was breathing for him.

"Come on, Tony. You have to calm down for me. Just relax, Tony."

"He's seizing," Dr. Collins yelled as Tony's body stiffened and started jerking uncontrollably.


	4. Chapter 4

"What was that?" Gibbs questioned as Tony's body relaxed.

"He's going to have muscle spasms," the doctor explained softly. "They are miserable but we will get him through them the best we can. When he's able to get that tube out; they won't be as painful for him."

"You're going to make sure there are orders for medications on his chart when you move him, right?" Gibbs was becoming anxious.

"I will," Dr. Collins was making notations in the chart when the alarm on the vent sounded. "Tony?" Making her way to the head of the bed, the doctor checked the tube placement to make sure her patient wasn't in distress following his spasms. "Talk to him, Agent Gibbs. He's coming around."

"Tony?" Gibbs called out to his agent. "Come on, son. Open your eyes for me; come back to us."

Tony's eyes popped open; he looked around lazily before allowing them to slam shut again. "Tony? My name is Dr. Collins. I know it hurts, honey. I need you to try to take a breath. I know you can hear me; try for me."

Tony's eyes opened again; his body relaxing as he tried to follow direction. Taking his first breath, Tony startled when the machine started to alarm.

"Good," Dr. Collins gently rubbed Tony's cheek to establish some contact with her patient. "Rest now; you're okay."

"So he's awake?" Gibbs was confused.

"He's working towards consciousness. He'll go through many stages until he's fully conscious. Be patient; he's working his way back."

Gibbs sat down at Tony's bedside; he gently picked up his hand and started to run his saw papered rough thumb over it. The sensation pulled Tony back a bit causing him to moan around the tube.

"Is he in pain?" Gibbs questioned.

"He's probably uncomfortable but not pain; we're giving him something to take the edge off the post-surgical pain but not enough to inhibit him from waking up. Once he's awake, we'll get him something better for the pain." Dr. Collins sighed. "I'm going to extend his stay with us by a few days; I want to have him conscious and his pain levels manageable before we move him."

"Once he is conscious," Gibbs took a deep breath. "Does he have to go to a home?"

"He would benefit from a rehabilitation center," Dr. Collins smiled. "Not a nursing home; there is a difference. You will be able to take him home from rehab, Gibbs. This is not a permanent move for him."

"Thank you," Gibbs sighed as he continued to watch as Tony's eyes opened and closed; he really missed his agent. Gibbs voice cracked as he started to talk to his younger friend. "Tony, I am so sorry that I snapped at you. God, I wish I could erase that day."

"Probie," Mike's voice filled the room. "You did not put him in that bed but you're going to be the one to get him out of that bed."

"How?" Gibbs looked at Mike's shadowy figure.

"Agent Gibbs?" Dr. Collins walked to her new friend's side. "You need some rest; I have the nursing staff bringing in a cot and some bedding. Dr. Mallard will be here shortly to sit with Tony while you rest."

Ducky's arrival seemed to calm Tony; he rested much better once Ducky's non-stop story telling began. The coffee laced with a mild sedative put Gibbs out for fourteen hours and five shift changes amongst the team.

"Here," Breena helped Gibbs sit up. "Go wash up and then you're going to eat." There was no discussion to the time that had passed while Gibbs slept or the progress that Tony was making. Gibbs splashed some cold water on his face before going back out to check on Tony and eat.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Gibbs questioned when he noticed the breathing tube was no longer in place.

"You haven't slept in over a week," Palmer explained. "Dr. Mallard left instructions you were to sleep; he's not fully awake yet so you really haven't missed much."

Gibbs walked over to touch Tony, needing the reassurance that he was okay. Tony's eyes opened at the touch; he seemed to lean into the contact. The evening morphed into morning and Gibbs found himself with a more responsive; more alert Tony.

"Go.." Tony's first words were spoken and Gibbs heart was crushed; he was asking Gibbs to leave.

"You sure, Tony?" Gibbs whispered trying not to allow any emotion into his voice. "You want me to go?"

"Go," Tony's hand clumsily motioned for the door.

"Agent Gibbs?" Dr. Collins met the emotional man just outside Tony's room.

"He told me to go," Gibbs' eyes burned as he fought the tears.

"Come back in here with me," Dr. Collins walked in the room with Gibbs following far behind. "Hey there handsome, I hear you are giving orders."

"Go.." Tony pointed to the door.

"Where you do you want to go?" The doc questioned softly.

"Home.. go home." Tony's words were slow and deliberate; he had to take some time to get them out.

"Not yet, honey. We have to get you better." The doctor gently examined her patient; seeing that he was a bit uncomfortable she administered some pain medication which brought out a new side of Tony that forced the breath from Gibbs' lungs.

"Hug," Tony reached his good arm to Gibbs. "Hug."

"I would love one," Gibbs gently pulled his boy into a hug and kissed the side of his head. "I've got your now; it's going to be okay; going to work on this together."

"We're going to get rehab in to evaluate and see what the long term needs are going to be; get a therapy plan started and work on getting you home." Dr. Collins stood writing orders in the chart to keep her patient comfortable and make sure he had all the modalities of therapy that would be needed to get him better.

"Go Now.." Tony wiggled to get out of the bed.

"Not so fast," Gibbs pulled the bed rails up. "You have to get those casts off and your stitches out."

"Sa.ign it." Tony pointed to his leg.

"We'll all sign it!" Dr. Collins pulled a marker from her pocket and signed his leg cast before moving to draw a picture on cast on his arm. Gibbs and the nursing staff all signed Tony's casts the excitement of every person that came to visit him showed on Tony's face. The nursing staff had totally fallen in love with Gibbs' younger agent during his stay.

"Tony?" Gibbs sat down next to the bed after everyone had left. "Do you know my name?"

Tony gave a lot of thought to the question; he searched the fragmented pieces of his mind trying to find something that this man needed him to say.

"Noooo," Tony shook his head. "Pa.rit.ee ey.es." That's all it took to shatter Gibbs' world again.


	5. Chapter 5

Senior had been very happy when Tony recognized him and whispered dad but what he didn't count on was his son flinch when he came near him or the reaction he got the morning they were left alone.

"Hello Junior," Senior walked into the room with a donuts and coffee in his hand. "I thought you might like a treat today instead of that mush they are feeding you."

Placing the donut on the table in front of his son, AJ sat down in a chair and watched to see what would happen. Tony's fine motor skills were non-existent and his limbs were so spastic that his movements were jerky when he attempted to do anything. This frustrated the recovering man but he never let anyone see him cry. He waited until those rare moments when he was alone to sob himself to sleep.

"Don't waste that," AJ pointed. "That cost me money."

Tony started shaking; his body reacting to the tension of being put under such pressure. Memories, broken memories of him as a little boy came flooding back the beating he took over the Halloween costume being the most prevalent of them.

"You have to start using your arms, Anthony." AJ moved to put Tony's hand on the donut not expecting him to flinch hard and start crying. Picking up the cream filled item, Senior pulled a piece off and forced in his son's mouth; he was getting sick of the game the boy was playing.

"Chew that," AJ directed.

"What did you just do?" Palmer rushed to one side while Gibbs rushed to the other. Grabbing some gloves, Jimmy gently fished the donut out of his friend's mouth watching as Gibbs pulled Tony close in an effort to calm him. "His muscles are weak, you cannot go shoving food in his mouth; you're going to choke him."

"You ever touch him like I just saw you touch him," Gibbs growled only to calm when Tony flinched at his tone. "I'm here now; I got you."

"Ma.eye sa.ix?" Tony questioned; that memory had flooded back sometime in the night when he was alone.

"Yes," Gibbs whispered. "I've got your six."

"Hun-gree," Tony pointed to the donut; he knew he wanted it but wasn't sure what to do.

"How about we try it with some milk?" Gibbs made his way out of the room only to return with a bowl, milk and a spoon. "Let's see what we can do to make the crust softer for you."

Tony's eyes danced; he was getting a treat. Gibbs poured just enough milk to soften the pastry so he didn't ruin the flavor for his young man. Tony's eyes danced as the tastes exploded on his tongue.

"Like that?" Gibbs laughed.

"Ya-es Ta-ony la-ove." Tony opened his mouth waiting for the next bite. Bite by bite, Gibbs fed his young friend until the bowl was empty. "Da.ad go .'way." Tony snuggled close to Gibbs as the older man wiped his face and helped him get changed.

"I'm not leaving," Senior stood at the foot of the bed.

"Then grab a wash cloth and let me show you how you wash your son up after he's had an accident. An accident that you caused by upsetting him." Gibbs watched Palmer throw senior a pair of gloves and move to help Jethro take care of Tony's intimate needs.

"That's what hired help is for is it not?" AJ balked at the idea of hands on care for his son.

"And you're so independently wealthy again that you're going to be able to afford around the clock care for Tony?" Palmer was furious.

Grabbing the gloves from Palmer, Gibbs started cleaning Tony up so that he was more comfortable. With all the bed linens and clothing changed; Tony managed to sink back into his pillow and let out an appreciative yawn.

"Sleep," Gibbs whispered. "It's good for you."

Social services came in on Gibbs' request to have a sit down meeting with the team. AJ was tempted to skip it but he knew that he had already done some damage with Gibbs.

"He's going to rehab tomorrow," the social worker smiled. "They are going to work with him for a while as an inpatient then they will move to an outpatient basis. You're going to need to find a long term care situation that is equipped to handle Tony's needs. There has to be a ramp for his chair. Even if he does start to walk again; he's going to be unsteady for stairs for a while."

"We're working on it." Gibbs nodded; he had already hired a team of Amish to construct the ramp, the addition to his home which included a handicapped bathroom.

Tony's transition to the rehabilitation facility went smoothly. He loved his room because he could see outside; the therapy personnel had fallen in love with him as soon as they met him. The first day of evaluations for Tony left him exhausted by dinner time and it took a great deal of prodding from Gibbs to get him to eat.

"I will take over," AJ walked into the room with a box of chocolates and flowers.

"Chocolates and flowers?" Gibbs questioned. "If those are for Tony; you can leave them at the nurse's station. He's allergic to flowers and he cannot eat the chocolate."

Irritation strummed through AJ's body as he turned and took the chocolate and flowers to the desk. Returning, he was hit a pang of jealousy as he listened to Gibbs sit and read to his son until the younger man fell asleep.

"He had a busy day," Gibbs explained. "Worked hard; real proud of him."

"That's no surprise," AJ snarked.

"Meaning?" Gibbs seemed to grow taller as he was ready to kick Senior's ass, literally.

"You speak of him like he is your son," the jealous was oozing from every part of the older man's persona.

"He feels like he is my own sometimes," Gibbs ran his hand over his face. "That boy is my family; he's all I have left.. all you have left. I am choosing to make his life the best it can be; he's my priority. He should be yours too."

"Ha-elp," Tony called from his bed. "Ta-ony wa -et."

"Your son needs cleaned up," Gibbs glared at Senior.

"He's more yours than mine," Senior growled as he left the room.

Walking over to the bed, Gibbs started to get everything ready to get Tony changed.

"Na-oh," Tony shook his head. "Ta-ony fa-ine."

"You're not wet?" Gibbs checked then started laughing. "You are one smart fella; he was really starting to tick me off."

"I da-on't la-ike him, Ba-oss." Gibbs choked on a laugh that turned into a sob as he hugged Tony close.

"You're remembering?" Gibbs gently caressed Tony's cheek.

"Sa-ome sta-uff." Tony smiled.

"What do you remember about me?" Gibbs almost didn't want to know; it could be too painful but he would make it right.

"Ya-ew la-ove ma-ee." Tony smiled brightly before his eyes closed and allowed him to sleep.

"I do," Gibbs ran his fingers through Tony's hair. "I do love, DiNozzo."


	6. Chapter 6

To everyone's delight, AD disappeared leaving Tony with family that cared for him. By the fifth week in therapy Tony was getting frustrated; he wanted to do more than what the therapist was willing to work with him on.

"I don't think this is working," Gibbs groaned as he held Tony while he cried out his frustration. "He's getting too upset and the staff doesn't seem to be willing to work with him."

"You're not understanding the principles of therapy," Janet the physical therapist argued.

"You do not understand Tony," Gibbs countered. "Either you work with him like he's a person and not some mentally challenged child or we're out of here to find someone that will. Just because he gets frustrated and tired doesn't mean that he's not capable of being worked with."

Furious Gibbs pushed Tony from the therapy room towards his room.

"Agent Gibbs, my name is Lucy; do you have a moment?" Lucy hopped in front of the wheelchair to stop Gibbs. "Speed bump!"

Tony giggled despite his tears. "Ba.oss, da.ont ha.it ha.er." Tony laughed when Lucy hopped on the foot rests of his wheelchair mindful of her patient's feet.

"Keep moving, I can talk while you drive. I am a physical therapist; I work with a certain doctor's patients here at this facility and I do home therapy. You have the right to switch therapists within the hospital so that Tony gets the best care." Lucy hopped off as they came to a door leading to the outside.

"Don't go anywhere," Gibbs watched Lucy for a moment. "You keep her company, Tony. I am going to go find someone that can get us switched to Lucy for therapy."

When Gibbs returned with the administrator, he was slightly alarmed to find Tony not in the spot he left him but his laughter could be heard coming down the hallway so he followed the sound. Finding Tony in the activities room with Lucy bouncing a balloon back and forth, Gibbs knew he had made the right choice.

"Therapy doesn't have to be something he dreads," Lucy laughed as she spiked the balloon at Gibbs getting a belly laugh from Tony. "We can have fun!"

Tony was exhausted by the time Gibbs got him back to his room but the smile on his face was the first real smile he had seen since the accident. Waking him for dinner, Gibbs laughed as Tony chattered away about Lucy and the balloon.

The week was busy with evaluations and getting Tony into a new routine with Lucy while working around the attitude of Janet, the former PT. By the weekend, Gibbs was ready to collapse which was something Lucy picked up on as soon as she walked into the room to get Tony Friday.

Pulling the covers back on the roll away, Lucy pushed Jethro down on the bed and covered him gently. "You will stay in that bed until we come back or I will quit working with Tony."

"Stay," Tony pointed with a pout.

"See," Lucy giggled. "Tony wants to keep me so you have to do your part. Come on, Tony! We're going to do some kick boxing today. I was thinking that if we get really good at it that maybe we could challenge Jimmy and Tim to a little match."

"Wha.imps," Tony laughed. "We wa.ill wa.in."

"You got that right," Lucy giggled as they walked to the therapy room. "Okay, I want to show you something so you can think about it. I would like to get you in the pool so we can work with you even more. See that man right there; watch how they get him in the pool. See that! That's how we'd get you in and what they are doing with him is what I want to do with you."

Tony watched closely as the therapist worked with the patient in the water. Lucy sat on the floor working Tony's ankles while he watched; totally engrossed in the whole idea of being in the water.

"Do you think you might want to try that?" Lucy questioned softly as she started doing the exercises on his weak arm.

"Yes," Tony nodded. "Fa.loat."

"Let's see if we can get someone to bring your swimming trunks for you; we'll get you in the pool and working it out." Lucy took Tony outside for some fresh air and to do some more therapy much to his delight.

By the time they were finished, Tony was very sleepy but his mind was whirling with questions. Fidgeting seemed to catch Lucy's attention. Taking him to the sitting area just outside his room, the young therapist sat down with her patient.

"What's wrong?" Lucy smiled. "You're thinking about stuff, I can tell."

Tony watched Lucy for a moment; he wasn't really sure how to ask his questions but he wanted to try.

"When do I ga.et sa.mart uh.gen?"

"You are smart now," Lucy reassured. "Tony, you are learning things all over again because of your injury, Tony. That doesn't make you not smart, it makes you special. You are probably the smartest patient I have ever worked with and I can say you are the most handsome. What else is going on in that head?"

"How do I fla.oat?" Tony was very serious.

"Well, we will get you off the lift and get you to relax and gravity will make your body float. It's going to be about trust, Tony. I'm going to see if Gibbs and Jimmy will come into the water with us the first few times."

"Ha.ave my sa.ix," Tony nodded.

"They do," Lucy smiled. "Do you realize that you are talking better?"

"I am?" Tony moved his eyes like he was trying to see his mouth.

"You are," Lucy giggled. "Now, I know you've been doing really well in speech therapy. The doctor spoke with your therapist and they are going to do some more swallow tests so we can get you eating better stuff."

"St-ake," Tony's eyes lit up. "Cow..boy st.yle."

"You remember that?" Gibbs' voice filled the sitting area.

"Yep!" Tony nodded with pride. "Ba-eer, st-ake and ca-orn."

"That's right," Gibbs patted Tony on the back. "We're going swimming?"

"Yep!" Tony nodded. "Fa-or ther-apee."

"I will have Palmer get your swim trunks and I will grab mine when I go home later. What do you think about going for a ride today?"

"Wa-ith you?: Tony pointed to Gibbs only to be mesmerized by the fact that his hand actually did what he wanted it to do instead of waving around. "Da-id you sa-ee?"

"I did," Lucy smiled. "Gibbs did you see how Tony's hand wasn't spastic?"

Tears stung Gibbs eyes; he had seen it just as soon as Tony pointed at him. "I did, that's good work Tony."

"Di-no-zzo!" Tony laughed. "Lu-cee? I wa-aunt to sha-oot a ga-un."

"You have someone in mind that you're aiming at? Lucy laughed. "How about I see what I can do with that idea?"

Gibbs took Tony out for a drive; he wanted to get his young man out of the hospital setting and somewhere that he could just spend some time with him that didn't involve nurses, catheters or other medically related interruptions.

The lake was the closest spot and provided beautiful scenery for the men; they sat at the dock watching the boats and the birds. Tony's eyes lit up as the people on jet skis blew by him waving at times as they did.

"We'll have to rent a boat as soon as you practice swimming," Gibbs said softly. "You are going to be okay in the water; don't worry about that. I won't let anything happen to you neither with Palmer."

"Be-cuz you la-ove me?" Tony looked at Gibbs with such love.

"Because I love you," Gibbs agreed. "You know, I am kind of excited about this water therapy. I was reading up on it the other day and it sounds like it may be just the ticket to help you get your legs stronger."

"Can we ga-oh fa-ishing?" Tony watched the fish intently.

"We can," Gibbs nodded. "I bet you catch more than me."

Standing, Gibbs pushed the wheelchair towards the car. "Ta-when-ty doll-ars." Tony giggled.

"You're going to take my money?" Gibbs teased.

"Yep!" Tony laughed; his heart feeling light as they made their way to the car.

Just as Gibbs seated Tony inside and clicked the seat belt, Tony's flinched hard as he remembered the accident. The blood curdling scream that came from the young man's throat tore Gibbs' heart in two pieces as he hurried to unbuckle him and hold him tight.

"Member," Tony mumbled as Gibbs stroked his back. "Ba-ig tr-uck. It hu-rt so ma-uch."

"Ah Tony," Gibbs was struggling not to cry. "It's over now; it's over."

"Buckling Tony back into the car, Gibbs made his way to the driver's side and navigated the car as far away from the lake as he could; he kept driving until he realized that he had taken Tony back to his house.

"Ha-ome," Tony's face lit up. "I sa-ee." Tony figeted with the seatbelt trying to get out of the car as fast as he could; he was home.

"You remember my house?" Gibbs smiled.

"Ba-oat!" Tony grinned.

"That's right," Gibbs took a deep breath, "Boat in the basement. Tony, I need to call Ducky. I didn't get any of your medicine or anything before we left; we were supposed to go right back. I screwed up, son."

"Ca-all Da-uck man," Tony sighed as soon as Gibbs got him in the wheelchair. "Pa-retty ta-rees." Tony pointed to the flowered out dogwood tree.

Ducky and Palmer made their way to Gibbs via the rehab center; they couldn't help but smile when they arrived. Tony had Gibbs pushing him through the yard so he could touch all the trees and see the flowers. He had a nice bouquet protectively in his lap to take back to his room.

"Pa-retty," Tony pointed when Palmer walked up.

"They are beautiful," Jimmy winked. "You got a girlfriend back there that I should know about? You know, I need to interview all your girlfriends to make sure they are good enough for you. It's my duty; you are my best friend."

"Even sta-upid me?" Tony looked curiously at Palmer.

"I don't know any stupid you," Palmer gave a serious look. "Don't you dare talk about my best friend like that anymore. You are the smartest, funniest, strongest person I know and I am so proud to be your friend. My life is better because you are in it, Tony. I love you."

"Anthony," Ducky walked up to the young man with his medicine in his hand. "You ready to take your meds?"

"No, Da-uck man," Tony clamped his mouth closed and watched as Ducky's face became filled with concern before he started laughing. "Ya-es Da-uck man."

"We do seem to have a comedian on our hands," Ducky laughed. "What do you say to a stroll up the street for some ice cream before we take you back to the facility?"

"Ba-oss in ta-rubble?" Tony questioned suddenly worried that Gibbs would be taken from him for taking him on a much longer trip.

"No," Ducky reassured. "I explained to the very nice nurse that you were having such a good time that you fell asleep and Jethro didn't want to wake you."

"Ja-eth-ro," Tony cracked up laughing. "Ja-eth-ro... Ja-eth-ro... Ja-eth-ro"

"Okay funny man," Gibbs laughed as they walked up the street towards the ice cream shop. "You keep that up and you don't get anything."

"Sa-are-ree Ja-eth-ro," Tony was belly laughing; tears rolling down his face. There was no way on earth that Gibbs would deny his charge of his cool treat especially when Tony was having such a great time even if it was at his expense.


	7. Chapter 7

Tony's conditioned seemed to improve by leaps and bounds having worked with Lucy for almost a month. He loved the swimming pool; Gibbs had to stop him from wheeling right in on occasion; his enthusiasm growing by the day.

"Okay," Lucy watched as Tony looked at the parallel bars in the swimming pool. "You have amazing upper body strength now; we've worked hard on that so that we can get you walking."

"Doctors say I never walk a-gain." Tony articulated.

"They also said you wouldn't talk or be able to move the upper part of your body," Palmer reminded his friend. "We told them from day one to stop counting you out; they didn't know you."

"Tony," Lucy parked the pool chair in front of the parallel bars. "I believe in you; Jimmy and Gibbs believe in you. How do I get you to believe in yourself?"

Movement caught Tony's eye, looking up he saw his father standing just inside the doorway to the pool. Tony's mind flashed to a time when he was eight years old when his father told him in a drunken rage that he was never going to amount to anything; that he would always be ashamed to have him for a son.

Placing his hands on each parallel bar, Tony took a deep breath and allowed Lucy to help him stand; Gibbs and Palmer right there to help if he needed it. Pulling himself along one very concentrated step at a time, Tony DiNozzo walked.

Tears spilled down Lucy's cheeks; she was so proud of her patient. "You've got it; keep going. Five more steps until the end; you got this sweetheart. The opposite end of the parallel bars proved to be Tony's victory lane as Palmer and Gibbs pulled him into an exhausted hug.

"I am so proud of you," Gibbs commented loud enough for the AJ to hear causing the man to sink back into the doorway. "That was great!"

Tony's eyes fixed on his father with such an intensity that he started to tremble.

"Tony?" Lucy whispered after taking a glance. "Don't let him see you get upset; you are a better man than he is. Let's get you floating to do your therapy; you're going to have to relax."

"No," Tony shook his head and pulled himself to his feet. "I walk." With his head held high and a determination that Lucy had never seen in her patient before, Tony walked making the return trip to the other end of the parallel bars.

"Time to rest," Lucy whispered as she seated her patient and pushed him out of the pool. "Gibbs, get him rinsed off and dressed; meet me back here when you two are done."

Gibbs took his time getting Tony all cleaned up in the shower; he needed the contact with his younger friend. He could feel that emotions running through Tony's body in the form of fine tremors as he washed him.

Tony's brain was clicking out memories faster than he was able to keep up with them. Images, sounds, voices... all mixed in with one another; all painful reminders of how little he is loved.

"I wa-ill do it." Tony took the wash cloth from Gibbs and worked at washing his front while the man that loved his as his own held him steady. "I hay-ate him." Tony sobbed and Gibbs knew that Senior's presence was the whole reason for the emotions.

"I know," Gibbs whispered. "Relax a bit, Tony. You're going to make yourself have a seizure."

"Sha-ould ha-ave let me die," Tony growled with a fresh onslaught of tears.

"No," Gibbs started washing Tony's hair. "I should not have because you are my best friend and I love you."

"Ya-ewe was mad," Tony sniffed. "Go ha-ome Da-na-zzo. Da-on't want ya-ewe tha-ere."

"You weren't supposed to remember that," Gibbs heart broke, no it shattered. "I was wrong; I was tired and the case was rough. I was wrong."

"Get out Ga-ibbs," Tony started shivering now that the water was shut off.

"Let me get you dressed first," Gibbs said softly trying to take care of Tony's needs before leaving to give him the space he needed.

"No!" Tony pulled away. "Go ah-way."

Backing away, Gibbs walked out into the pool area and flagged Lucy to come help. "He's kicking me out; he remembered something painful that I did. He needs help getting dressed before he gets a chill and gets sick."

"I got this," Lucy took the towel from Gibbs' hand. "Go take a walk; calm down."

"Can you handle him?" Gibbs was concerned.

"I can," Lucy smiled. "I have a brother that is in a vegetative state that I care for when I am not here; Tony's easy to care for."

Lucy made her way into the shower area calling out a warning to any other male that may be present. Finding Tony shivering in the actual shower stall, Lucy hurried to get him dried and dressed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lucy questioned as she wheeled Tony out of the locker room. "I'm a great listener."

"Why does every-one ha-ate me?" Tony's lip quivered. Lucy was able to coax the story of the altercation with Gibbs out of Tony and several instances from his childhood. By the time he was done, Tony was exhausted.

Lucy got Tony back to the therapy room and tucked him into the bed they had in there. She knew he needed to have a friend close by and she was more than willing to be that friend. Watching him sleep, Lucy thought about all the things Tony had told her. Sending a quick text to Gibbs before making a phone call to Anthony Senior, Lucy was going to intervene on Tony's behalf.

Putting the men in the side room where she could still have a visual on her sleeping patient, Lucy closed the door and turned to watch the young sleeping man. "I have spent a great deal of time with Tony today; this afternoon he poured his heart out to me about all the things he is remembering. Gibbs, you haven't damaged your relationship beyond repair but it's going to take a while for him to forgive and trust you. Mr. DiNozzo, you are best off leaving. The things you have said and done over the years; they are not something you can take back. All the good deeds you proclaim you can do now; all the times you say that you love him... you just confuse him and he knows they are not sincere. He has a head injury; he's not stupid."

"You are way out of line," AJ growled.

"Yes, I am." Lucy laughed. "This is the difference between you and I. I am out of line because I care; you're pissed because you don't. and I am calling you out on it."

Tony twitched giving away the fact that he was dreaming. "Gibbs, go to him. There is juice in the mini fridge by his head; a wedge under that bed that he is on. Just be the father that he craves; it will heal all wounds in time."

AJ stood at the window and watched at Gibbs gently woke Tony up and gave him a drink. He watched as Gibbs ran his hand over Tony's head gently and down his face. AJ had to endure the sight of another man holding his son and rocking him gently as he cried; he had to witness the kiss to the forehead that came right before Tony clung to Gibbs.

"Do you want to go outside for a while?" Gibbs questioned softly as he helped Tony into his chair. "We can stop and get bread for the Ducks and geese."

"Go ha-ome," Tony begged. "Pa-lease."

"Tony,' Gibbs heart was breaking. "I can't yet; it's too soon, son."

The construction on Gibbs' house was done; everything was ready to go as far as accommodations. Tony had to be well enough for Gibbs to care for an in Lucy's mind; he had been caring for him around the close as it was. Making her way through the building to escort Senior out, Lucy stopped long enough in discharge planning to see if she couldn't get Tony's dream to come true. There was nothing holding him back as far as therapy; she was ready to move him from water therapy to getting his hand legs; Gibbs had made his the addition was large enough to accommodate parallel bars.

"Boys," Lucy caught up with Gibbs and Tony as they made their way outside. "I have some news; I just came from talking to the social worker and the director; we can start transitioning Tony to home."

"How?" Tony was so excited he was vibrating.

"Well, I go out to the house and look at everything that is set up and make sure we can still do therapy there. We'll then take you on a home evaluation and see how well we can get you in and out of the house; I'll do a therapy session with you there. We'll do an overnight visit to see if Gibbs needs to do any more work or if the nurse that will come help so he can sleep is going to be enough." Lucy smiled as she leaned over to kiss her excited patient on the cheek. "You're going home, buddy."

"Be-cuz of ya-ewe." Tony laughed. "Ya-ewe save me."

"Tony, I need to know something though. You were really upset with Gibbs; are you going to be okay with him?" Lucy was concerned about her patient.

"He said sa-orry." Tony reassured. "Gibbs is not la-ike my fa-ather. Gibbs la-oves me."

Gibbs nodded to Lucy; he had apologized and taken his time to explain to Tony how he had been overwhelmed by the case they had worked. He wanted nothing more to go home that day and get falling down drunk to turn off the images in his head but he didn't want to risk disappointing Tony.

"Okay," Lucy smiled. "If you are sure then I have a surprise for you."

"Pa-oz-a-tive!" Tony nodded.

"You said you wanted to shoot a gun," Lucy handed Tony a water gun. "This is the best I can do for right now but I say.... Freeze dirtbag!" Turning her water gun on Gibbs, Lucy gave the man a playful look. Tony followed her lead and aimed his toy. Watching the amusement that danced his Gibbs' eyes, Tony took a deep breath and aimed.... Gibbs gasped when the cold water landed right between his eyes.

"Ka-ill sha-ot!" Tony rejoiced then dissolved into a fit of giggles when he looked up and saw Gibbs wet face.

"Do you think we better make a break for it?" Lucy asked as she aimed her water pistol pretending to have Gibbs covered.

"I wa-ill ca-over ya-ewe; Ra-un!" Lucy jumped behind Tony and pretended to be rescued; Gibbs much to his credit just played along and let the two giggling people before him to soak him to the skin with their water guns.

"You will do this therapy at home right?" Gibbs laughed as Lucy produced a towel.

"I will actually be heading up the therapy team; we're going to get some highly recommended therapists in place. I don't believe Tony's done making progress, Gibbs. I am a firm believer in the sky is the limit when it comes to progress."

"Will he ever be the man that he was?" Gibbs tried to keep his voice light; Tony was preoccupied shooting bugs off of flowers with his water pistol.

"I believe that he is in there and that brain is healing," Lucy smiled. "I believe in science, Jethro but I also believe in miracles. From the point that he goes home and moving forward, you have to let go of all those regrets you are harboring or he won't progress. Don't be his handicap; be his beacon of hope."

"What if I can't?" Gibbs scrubbed his hand over his face.

"Then I would say you're full of shit because I have watched you with him; I know what you're capable of. Once you get him home; it's going to be different. You will have a routine, you will finally be getting some rest; he's going to flourish in familiar surroundings. The more normal he has; the more you can stimulate that brain.. sky is the limit."

"Ba-oss?" Tony wheeled over to Gibbs. "I'm out of wa-ter."

"Well what if we go inside and get some dinner; we can come back out tomorrow and shoot your gun." Gibbs tucked the water pistol into his pants.

"I am ga-ow-ing to be an ag-gent a-gain." Tony nodded. "Pra-act-tice sha-oot-ing to qual-li-fy."

"You know what son; I think you will make it." Gibbs sighed with a smile as they paused long enough for the doors to the center to open. "I think you will make it."


	8. Chapter 8

Tony's had progressed by leaps and bounds when he was in the rehabilitation center; all were concerned that the lack of discipline that came with going home would hinder his progress but none voiced it .

The first thing that Tony did when Gibbs wheeled him into his room was explore; he had a new place and one that wasn't hiding in the recesses of his mind giving him something that was vaguely familiar.

"All new,' Tony surmised as he drove his new electric wheelchair around.

"Yes, it is." Gibbs smiled; his boy was improving. "You need a space of your own so I had an addition put on."

"How?" Tony moved to the window; he could remember vaguely the yard not being that big to begin with.

"I owned the land behind too; we just cleared it off and moved the yard back." Gibbs laughed as Tony stretched to see more.

"Out-side." Tony went wheeling towards the door. "Come-on."

The day was warm and the sun was shining; the breeze was just enough to keep it comfortable. Lucy found her favorite patient on the back porch when she came to do therapy with him.

"Are you enjoying the sunshine?" Lucy smiled when Tony's face lit up at her presence.

"Yes," Tony's movements were very animated; he was very sweet on his young therapist. "It's na-ice to ba-ee out-sa-ide."

"Let's do therapy out here," Lucy pushed Tony down the ramp and into the yard. The woman was tiny but she was strong and before Gibbs could get to the yard to help her, she had a blanket spread out and was lowering her patient down onto it.

"You're going to hurt yourself doing that someday," Gibbs admonished.

"I ha-elped." Tony giggled.

"He actually did; he's much stronger now." Lucy was working on stretching Tony and doing the range of motion exercises. "I have been thinking that maybe it's time to get him involved in some other things like a computer class and some basketball."

"Bass-ket-ball?" Tony's face broke into a smile. "I love bass-ket-ball."

"I heard," Lucy laughed. "I have someone that wants to come play a little one on one with you." Lucy stepped aside allowing Brad's face to come into view.

"Hey Buckeye," Pitt teased. "Good to see you."

"Hi! Bra-ad," Tony waved from the ground.

Brad moved to settle in beside Tony. "So, what are we working on?"

"Legs," Tony snickered. "You wa-ork-ing out ta-oo?"

"I need it," Pitt patted his stomach; "I've gotten fat."

"Fla-abby." Tony laughed hard. Brad, Gibbs and Lucy joined in the laughter. Brad worked out along with Tony; he mimicked all the exercise to give his friend some support.

"What do you say to allowing me to check you over?" Pitt questioned as they got Tony back into his wheelchair.

"No," Tony shook his head. "Ta-ime to eat."

"He takes meal time very serious now that he's allowed real food," Gibbs explained. "You live on pureed food for a couple months; I can't blame him."

Brad was able to check Tony after they ate; Gibbs was correct in his description of how serious Tony took his meals. He savored every bite; some things were like he tasted it for the first time.

"You are doing excellent," Brad smiled. "I'm very impressed. Lungs are sounding the best that they have since he got the plague."

Gibbs relaxed knowing that Tony's transition to home had not hurt him; in fact it had done very opposite. The next weeks were filled with wheelchair catch from Brad and Gibbs took Tony swimming several times. There was company every single day so that Gibbs didn't burn out; everyone staying to help as much as they could.

"Gibbs?" Palmer walked into Tony's room one evening just as they had settled in to watch one of his movies. "Do you two have a minute?"

"We do," Gibbs nodded and watched as Tony pushed himself up on the bed to give Palmer his full attention.

"I don't know what to do," Palmer scrubbed his hand over his face. "They found us another expectant mother but I'm scared. What if she sees this baby and takes it from us too."

"Then you try again," Tony said softly. "You don't quit Ja-immy." Tony reached for his friend's hand. "You're sa-posed to be a dad; a good dad."

"What is I'm not?" Palmer questioned.

"Then you try again," Gibbs answered with a warm look that made Palmer want to sob. "You don't quit; it's family. When you first hold that baby in your arms; all those fears and doubts are going to rush at you like a freight train but then you're going to look into that baby's face, that baby is going to hold your finger for the first time and your world is going to go off kilter. Your knees are going to go weak every single time that baby smiles or coos."

"I hope that I can be half the father that you are," Palmer responded softly.

"Don't," Gibbs shook his head. "My daughter died because I wasn't here to protect her; you won't let that happen to your baby."

"I won't," Palmer agreed. "I was referring to us; the team. You're not just Jethro Gibbs our boss; your Gibbs...the man that is the strongest male influence some of us have ever had; the first real chance at a father. You're the second chance for some of us."

Gibbs nodded with tear filled eyes. "Thank you."

"I'm going to go," Palmer smiled. "Thank you both."

Tony watched as Gibbs stood staring out the window; his mind a million miles away.

"I do-on't blame you," Tony said softly. "You da-idn't hit me with the truck."

"I hurt you enough to send you driving in bad weather," Gibbs snorted.

"Not the first time something da-id; Ziva and McGee usually." Tony grumbled as he plucked at the bedding. Deciding that he needed to console Gibbs; reassure him, Tony swung his legs over the side and tried to pivot to his chair only to miss and land hard on the ground.

"Tony!" Gibbs rushed to his side. "Hold still; let me see how bad you're hurt."

"I'm fine," Tony tried to move. "Stop it, Gibbs."

"You could have hurt your legs, DiNozzo. Let me look." Gibbs checked Tony over seeing a few red spots that would most likely bruise by morning. "You're going to be sore. Did you hit your head?"

"No," Tony snapped. "It's still stupid da-idn't knock any sense into me."

"That's not what I asked," Gibbs sighed deeply. "Let's get you back into bed."

"My chair," Tony growled. "I want my chair."

Helping Tony into his chair, Gibbs stood back and allowed the younger man to wheel outside onto the back deck, down the ramp and into the yard. He stood in the doorway watching and waiting for his young man to come back inside. The night air grew chilly and soon a shivered passed over his charge.

"Will you come back inside?" Gibbs questioned softly.

"No," Tony shook his head; he wasn't going back into the house until he was ready. The feeling of a warm blanket being wrapped around him startled Tony but as soon as the warmth settled in he was able to relax and do some serious thinking.

Gibbs had dozed off in the chair next to the bed waiting for Tony to come back in. The sun coming through the door woke him but the fact that Tony wasn't in the room panicked him. Rushing to the back porch, Gibbs' heart sank when all that was left the blanket and Tony's cell.

Picking up both items, Gibbs noticed two missed calls and one voicemail. Listening to it, he became instantly enraged as Senior's voice filled his ear with an anger filled message yelling at Tony for hanging up on him earlier.

Three hours had passed from when Tony ended the phone call until Gibbs discovered his disappearance. The team was called in along with some of the local LEOs. The search was on to find their patient. He needed his medicine and the chances that he was hurt were great.

"We have no leads, Boss. It's like he just vanished." McGee's worry was causing him to become ill. "I don't know where we look from here."

"Me either," Gibbs sighed. "Where are you, Tony?"


	9. Chapter 9

Tony shivered as he sat beside the pond at the park. There was something about the water that restored his peace. The conversation with his father had been brutal; the man was nothing but negative and verbally abusive. Memories from childhood filled Tony's exhausted mind; he was stuck in the living hell of being eight years old and losing his mother. Craving a feeling of something besides sorrow; Tony pushed himself to the edge of the water and allowed himself to slip out of the chair and into the cold water.

"Dad?" Tony's voice was scared; he was tired and feeling miserable. "I ca-ome home?"

"Here?" Senior's voice sounded panicked. "I don't have time to take care of you Junior; I am a very busy man."

"My ha-ome," Tony sniffled.

"Your apartment is gone, Anthony. You need to talk to Gibbs he took that way from you. You blame me for all the bad things that happened in your life what about Gibbs? He took away your home; you have no place to call home. You have nobody that loves you."

"Ma-om?" Tony didn't get much more than that out of his mouth before started screaming.

"You want your mom? Maybe you should have thought about what would happen before you killed her. You sucked the life right out of her. She gave birth to you and was never the same woman after she gave birth to you. You ruined her and ruined my marriage. You were the worst thing to happen in our life and now you want to come home?" Senior slammed down the phone and returned to his drink.

"Ma-om," Tony whimpered into the dead air of the phone.

"Tony?" Gibbs called softly; he didn't want to scare the young man. Turning to McGee, Gibbs looked at his younger agent with such pain etched in his eyes. "Get lots of blankets, towels, a change of clothes and Ducky"

"On it boss," Tim nodded as he took off running for the car. Gibbs had made him drive towards the park; his gut had screamed to check it out.

"Tony?" Gibbs moved slowly.

"I wa-ant my ma-om, Gibbs." Tony sobbed.

"I talked to your father; he told me that you two talked about your mother. I heard the message he left, son. It's not your fault that she died, Tony. She was sick; it wasn't because you were bad." Gibbs

"Why did she la-eve me with him?" Tony sniffled. "He ha-ated me. Ha-urt me."

"I know," Gibbs was soft in his speech as he pulled Tony from the water. "I don't know why he is the way he is but I do know you didn't deserve it."

"Gibbs?" Tony's eyes filled with tears. "I wa-ish you were my dad."

"Oh Tony," Gibbs pulled the younger man into a tight hug. "Will you let me help you now?"

"Na-oh," Tony shook his head. "La-eve me; I wa-ant to see my ma-other. Pa-leez Gibbs."

"What happens to me when you leave?" Gibbs swiped at a tear as it fell.

"You ha-ave Abby, Tim, Ellie and Ja-immy." Tony mumbled; he was starting to shiver now that he was out of the numbing cold of the water.

"I want you," Gibbs whispered. "I'm going to help you; you can fight me if you want but I won't let you go without a fight, Tony."

"Jethro," Ducky had been listening to the conversation trying to gauge the best course of action. "Allow me in here for a moment; I have something to help the lad settle."

Tony fought Ducky with everything he had in him; his movements becoming more sluggish the further he exhausted himself until he was so exhausted that Ducky was able to inject the sedative into his thigh.

"He put up a good fight," Tim said softly. "Boss, I don't understand what happened."

"Tony somehow managed to dial his father looking for a way to his apartment." Gibbs explained. It went to hell from there. I'm going to get him changed."

"Here?" Tim gasped.

"He's soaked to the skin; he needs dried off." Ducky explained. "Hold those blankets so they block the view while Jethro changes him."

Gibbs had Tony changed and wrapped in warm blankets by the time the EMTs arrived to check him over. "He's mildly hypothermic."

"Was it wise to give him a sedative given his condition?" The EMT questioned Ducky.

"I am monitoring the lad. He needed the medication to calm down before he triggered a seizure." Ducky defended.

"Understood, let's grab a gurney and get him loaded." The trip to the ER was not going to be fun and everyone knew it. Tony's biggest fear since the accident had been that they would send him back to the hospital and leave him. Ducky called Brad and explained the situation so that there would be a friendly face that would cooperate waiting for their young lad.

"Let's see how he is," Brad started to do his checks. "We're going to warm him up and monitor him for a bit; I think we can manage this from home. Ducky and I can take on his care."

The medical staff worked to warm the younger man; keeping an eye on his vitals and his lungs. Gibbs had filled Brad in shortly after arrival on the particulars as he knew them.

"Sounds to me like he got frustrated with his disability and wanted to run away for a bit," Brad sighed. "His father turned something manageable into something horrific. Why couldn't he have just told him that his apartment was short term sublet to one of the doctors from the hospital? His things are not gone; they are safe and sound. I just checked everything yesterday. The doctor left and all of Tony's belongings are back in place and safe."

"He keeps crying for his mom," Gibbs scrubbed at his face. "It's like being shot in the heart; it's painful to watch."

"What if we take him back to the apartment?" Brad suggested. "Just so he can see it is all safe. Just have to pray the blasted elevator is working when we do."

"Let me make some calls," Gibbs said softly. "I'll get him set up to spend a few days there."

"Ma-om?" Tony called out in his sleep.

"Shhh... Buckeye you're okay. Sleep; I'm right here." Brad soothed his friend back to sleep; his heart breaking as he thought of a hundred ways to torture Tony's father.

Brad kept Tony under a light sedation during his hospital stay to minimize the mental trauma. With everything set up in the apartment, Gibbs took Tony home. The first thing Tony saw when he opened his eyes for the first time since the pond incident was his piano.

"Ha-ome?" Tony croaked through his dry throat.

"Home," Gibbs nodded as he placed a straw to Tony's lips. "Slow now; don't make yourself sick."

"Da-ad said it was ga-one." Tony looked around trying to take it all in.

"You're father is an idiot," Gibbs explained. "I would never get rid of your home. I just thought the new room would be better to take care of you in. I am sorry that I didn't ask you first."

"It's oh-kay." Tony sighed as he looked around. "Get up?" Tony wanted up to explore.

"Just take it easy," Gibbs transferred his young man into the wheelchair. "You're still a bit weak from your field trip."

Tony wheeled around his apartment moving to the bedroom doorway to look inside. "Go in." Tony started to back up his wheelchair to plow through the door.

"Hey," Gibbs stopped him. "It's too wide; let me try something."

"Go in!" Tony pointed to his bedroom.

"Give me a minute," Gibbs sighed.

"Go in," Tony started for the door one more time only to have Gibbs pull the chair back and disconnect the battery.

"I said wait a minute," Gibbs scolded. "You're going to hurt yourself or the door if you push through. Stop the tantrum."

Tony was stunned and Gibbs instantly felt bad but before he could apologize, Tony started laughing so hard that he almost fell out of the chair.

"Think that's funny?" Gibbs joined in as he caught his young man.

"Ya-es," Tony gasped as Gibbs deposited him on the bed in his bedroom. "Ya-oar fa-ace." Tony gasped for air as he held his side.

"Jethro?" Ducky called as he rushed through the apartment.

"Give us a minute," Gibbs laughed as he sat on the edge of the bed. "We're okay, Duck."

"What on earth," Ducky started laughing. "I dare say that he's looking much better; laughter must be good medicine."

"Da-ucky," Tony reached for the older man. "Ga-ibbs tra-eated me la-ike his ka-id." The laughter dissolved to tears as the realization of the moment hit Tony; he clung to Gibbs, holding on for all he was worth.

"You are mine, Tony." Gibbs embraced Tony. "How about some lunch? You can stay in here and I'll bring it to you."

"Something light, Jethro." Ducky admonished as he started to check Tony over.

"Pa-izza dad!" Tony yelled back making Gibbs stop in the doorway; the emotions boiling up inside him. It had been a long time since anyone called him that.


	10. Chapter 10

Gibbs was busy cleaning up Tony's bedroom and bathroom when he heard laughter erupt from the living room. Figuring Tony was up to some mischief, he decided to take a peek.

"What are you doing?" Gibbs laughed as he watched Tony concentrate on the door.

"I'm going to cra-sh." Tony laughed. "Watch!"

"Don't you dare," Gibbs pulled the battery cable off the chair. "You're going to hurt yourself and the door. Why do you want to crash into the door?"

"Because it is a stu-pid door." Tony reasoned.

"Why is it a stupid door?" Gibbs was a bit amused.

"I don't know!" Tony looked at Gibbs like that was the best questioned he had heard all day. "Door? Why are you stu-pid?"

"Okay funny guy," Gibbs turned Tony in his chair and started towards the kitchen. "It's lunch time and then I think we're going to the park. I can't keep you cooped up inside this apartment when the sun is shining like that."

"Go home now," Tony watched as Gibbs processed what Tony was saying.

"Home?" Gibbs was perplexed.

"Home; Gibbs' house is where we live. This is nice place but not my ha-ome now." Tony looked around. "Wa-nt my st-uff."

"Okay," Gibbs sighed with relief. "We can bring your stuff. I'm going to have to make some room, Tony. Can you have some patience for a few days?"

"Yes," Tony nodded. "I wa-nt my pee-an-no."

"You'll have your piano," Gibbs reassured; Lucy had actually wanted to set Tony up with a cognitive therapist and the piano. Gibbs wasn't exactly sure the reasoning but to this point; he hadn't seen anything Lucy try fail with Tony and he was more than willing to do anything his young man needed.

"Gibbs?" Lucy let herself into the apartment. "Where are my handsome fellas?"

"We're in here getting ready to have lunch," Gibbs called from the kitchen. "Would you like some?"

"I would love some!" Lucy giggled. "If Tony will make it for me."

"Me?" Tony looked at Lucy like she was crazy.

"Yep," Lucy nodded. "I want a turkey sandwich with lettuce and mayo. You can do this, Tony. I know you can. I believe in you. In fact, you're going to make all three of us a sandwich."

Tony studied Lucy for a moment; her face contained so much love and support for him that he had to try. When he first started therapy with Lucy, she had to him that no effort was a failure as long as he tried his best.

Opening the drawer, Tony took out the knife and placed it on the counter. Wheeling to the fridge, he opened the door and moved in closer to grab the turkey, lettuce and mayo. Bread would be a bit trickier but he could get it just fine without help. Moving back to the counter, Tony placed everything where he could reach it suddenly realizing that he had no plates and could not reach them on his own.

"Stop," Lucy watched as Tony's emotions were about to slip. "What is one of the rules when you can't do something on your own?"

"Ask for help." Tony repeated. "Ga-ibbs, I need three pla-ates please."

Nodding at her patient with tear filled eyes, Lucy had so much pride welling up inside. She watched as Tony carefully and artistically sculpted their sandwiches. She watched with amusement as he put everything back in the fridge and returned with grapes and chips for the plates.

"Lunch is ready!" Tony beamed with pride and joy. "Carry your own plate! I'm not your maid." Tony cracked up laughing as he placed his plate in his lap and made his way to the table.

Taking a deep breath, Lucy picked up her plate and met Gibbs' eyes. Both members of Tony's support were moved to tears as they joined him. Snuggling in at Tony's side to eat, Lucy kissed the side his head. "I am so proud of you."

"Thank you," Tony blushed. "You ma-ake me a ba-etter per-son."

"Slow it down and say it again." Lucy encouraged.

"You make me a bet-ter person." Tony's eyes lit up when he didn't stutter as much.

"Tony wants to go back to my house," Gibbs told Lucy.

"The apartment goes," Tony nodded.

"I'll take it!" Lucy looked around. "It's beautiful here and I'm being kicked out; my building is turning into a Senior Citizen complex and they won't adopt me."

"Wow," Gibbs almost choked. "I didn't think you'd be able to unload this place that fast."

"This way if you ever want it back; you can have it too." Lucy smiled as she watched Tony look around.

"You keep the furniture," Tony nodded. "I want my piano and movies."

"I will keep everything safe for you." Lucy promised.

The transition back to Gibbs house took up the rest of the afternoon. Gibbs loaded Lucy's car with all the groceries and things that he had purchased for the apartment. The moving company was called to move the piano along with Tony's valuables. Things were seemingly coming together and it worried Gibbs what was going to happen to pull the bottom out of Tony's world.

The weeks that followed were busy, Tony, Gibbs and Palmer helped Lucy move into the apartment. They worked together to get her things put away. Tony's whole attitude had improved as he felt more useful.

"I can't believe you organized my socks and scrubs." Lucy laughed. "The kitchen is so organized that I don't think I will ever use anything. I don't want to move it."

"You're funny," Tony laughed. "Thank you for letting me help."

"Are you nervous about working with Sabrina?" Lucy pushed; she could see Tony's brain would kick out once in a while because he was thinking.

"What if," Tony shrugged. "What if she can't fix it?"

"Tony, it's up there it's just stimulating it so that it all works again. Your body is mending; you're getting better every single day. You make such progress! You're going to be knock this out of the park. Sabrina will help you get the emotional part of your recovery in gear; it's going to be great."

Sabrina's work was cut out for her. Working through the anger of the disability while teaching Tony better ways to cope and react. Senior had disappeared much to everyone's relief and none were ready for him to come back into the picture.

Tony's progress seemed to have stalled to Gibbs. The younger man was carrying on his life while Gibbs went back to work consulting on cases and running his team mostly from the confines of NCIS in case Tony needed him.

Tony's days were filled as Lucy was able to find him an outpatient rehab center that acted almost in the capacity of a daycare while Gibbs worked. She was allowed in to work with him as was the rest of the staff giving him more therapy time unknown to Gibbs.

"Boss?" McGee called out to Gibbs as they were ready to leave work the Friday before Father's day. "I was wondering if it would be okay to come over and spend time with Tony this weekend. I miss him."

"He'd love that, Tim." Gibbs nodded. "How about lunch tomorrow?"

"I'll bring the potato salad," Tim smiled. Walking to his car, the young man sent Tony a text. "Lunch is set for tomorrow. Can't wait to find out what your surprise is."

Tony's text back made Tim's eyes fill with tears. "Patience Probie!"

Noon came and Gibbs house was busy; Tony had talked him into inviting Palmer, Ducky and Vance. Ellie was out of town but had sent her love to her team wishing she could be there.

"Everyone hungry?" Tony yelled as he wheeled out to the table with a bowl of chips in his lap.

"Starving," Lucy called as she came in behind him. "Thank you for the invite."

"Sit down my lady," Tony flirted. "You are my guest today."

Lucy knew what today meant to Tony and she was part of the his plan but she was also surprised at the change of events that had her sitting being served instead of acting in an official capacity.

The food was fantastic, the mood light. Tony really enjoyed his time with the team even Vance was smiling and joking through it all.

Tony nodded to Lucy with a smile. The woman stood and stretched excusing herself to use the restroom; returning with a walker when she did. "May I have your attention please?"

Placing the walker in front of her patient, Lucy stood back and watched as everyone fell silent. Locking his chair, Tony pulled himself up to a standing position and walked to Gibbs. Pulling the man into a hug, Tony held him tight and whispered words that broke the man in front of his team. "Happy Father's day, dad."

Applause and whistles thundered in the backyard; Tony's friends crying at the progress of their friend. "You make me proud." Gibbs said through the tears. "Every single day, you have made me proud."

"Tell him what else," Lucy prodded.

"I have a job," Tony beamed.

"A job?" Everyone gasped.

"A job," Tony laughed. "I will be working at the hospital doing background checks on employees part time."

"You're well enough to do that?" Vance questioned. "I mean. You're functioning well enough to...? Hell I don't know what I mean but if you can do that could you handle cold cases at NCIS?"

"You'd let me back?" Tony was astonished.

"Agent DiNozzo," Vance pulled himself up from his chair and walked to stand next to Tony. "I have never met a man more drive or dedicated than you. My opinion of you changed greatly after Jackie died and you stepped in to help me with my children. Someone once told me; you don't waste good. You're good; Tony."

"I would love to come back to NCIS," Tony smiled. "I still want to do the hospital work though."

"We'll work it out," Vance shook his hand. "Welcome back!"

"Ready to sit?" Lucy questioned softly trying not to take away from the moment.

"Not yet," Tony gently brushed his thumb over Lucy's cheek before leaning down to kiss her lips. "Thank you."

"Tony?" Lucy's heart was in her chest.

"You went beyond your job; you made me your life's work to get me back. It's been almost a year; a year that I couldn't have made it through without you." Tony knew he was taking a chance but something in the moment felt right.

"What do you say to sitting down for a few minutes; give me a chance to catch up." Lucy laughed.

Gibbs and company made their way off the back porch and into the house to allow the two time together.

"Did you see this coming?" Ducky questioned Gibbs.

"I knew she was falling in love with him," Gibbs smiled. "I knew he had a crush; I didn't realize how much he loved her until now."

"Is he capable?" Vance stopped himself short when he watched Tony hold Lucy and kiss her again; the tears and love in his eyes radiating. "He's fallen deeply in love; look at him."

"She restored his world," Palmer commented. "Gibbs saved his life, gave him a reason to live and Lucy believed in him."

"We all believed in him," Abby corrected.

"We don't count," Gibbs said softly. "Having someone believe in you when they do not have an emotional investment means a lot to anyone but especially Tony.

"Think we can go back out?" Breena questioned. "I would love to talk to her some more; she's won our guy's heart."

"Go," Gibbs smiled. "Let him show her off; he's earned the right."


	11. Chapter 11

"Hey handsome," Lucy greeted Tony as she came in for his next therapy session. "What do you say we go for a walk down the driveway?"

"Let's go," Tony smiled.

"You touched Gibbs' heart yesterday when you walked to him and wished him a Happy Father's Day." Lucy walked close to keep Tony steady.

"He deserved that moment," Tony smiled. "I worked hard for him; to show him that he wasn't wasting his time on me."

Gibbs had been following closely in case Lucy needed him; his heart clenched when he heard the words out of Tony's mouth.

"How do we undo a lifetime of hurt for you?" Lucy questioned softly as she moved to stand between Tony and the walker. "You're so emotionally battered, Tony. How do we get you to understand that we love you? How can I show you that no matter what happens in life; you have me? Gibbs would lay his life down for you, Tony. You're not wasted time; you're not an inconvenience. Honey, you are an investment in our hearts and I don't know how to make you understand that."

"He'll never understand that," Senior came walking around Lucy's SUV parked at the end of the driveway. "Because it isn't true; is it son?"

"What do you want?" Tony growled.

"Your trust fund," Senior grinned. "I'm a bit strapped for cash and it would help me back on my feet."

"I think you should leave, Mr. DiNozzo." Lucy moved to stand next to Tony.

Gibbs stood in the shadows; he needed to give Tony the opportunity to defend himself before moving in.

"You are a pretty little thing," Senior winked. "If you're not busy later, I would like to show you how a real man treats a lady. Perhaps we can go back to Junior's apartment and have a little romp in his sack."

The punch came out of nowhere and landed Anthony DiNozzo Sr flat on his ass in the middle of Gibbs' driveway. "Don't you ever talk to the woman I love that way again; you pathetic piece of shit."

Getting to his feet, Senior's eyes were filled with so much hatred that it scared Lucy. Stepping in close to Tony, the young woman was surprised when he pushed her behind him; he could see the rage boiling in his father.

"You piece of filth," Senior moved to push his son off balance only to be surprised when the younger man managed to use his walker to take him out at the knees.

"You were saying?" Tony hovered over Senior. "Gibbs? I think it's time for him to leave."

"I do too," Jethro pulled the older man up by his waist band.

"In the back of a cruiser," Tony pulled out his cell phone and placed a call to the local police department.

"Are you sure you want to press charges?" Lucy questioned softly. "You don't have to prove anything to me."

"I have to prove it to myself," Tony stood tall and pulled Lucy close. "You are my world; I have to prove that I can protect you."

Tony and Lucy stood on the porch watching as Senior was taken away for the attempted assault of a federal officer as well as attempted assault of Lucy. Gibbs managed to add an endangering and trespassing charge to make matters worse.

"I want pizza and rid of this damn walker." Tony growled when he banged into the door.

"Well, you're going to have to work your ass off to get rid of the damn walker," Lucy challenged.

"I have been working my ass off!" Tony snapped.

"Then take this cane and show me what you've got." Exchanging the walker and the cane, Lucy stood close as Tony tried to walk without the walker only to trip over his foot.

"Son of a bitch!" Tony growled.

"Stop it," Lucy exchanged the cane for the walker. "We're going to try a brace I brought you. It's light weight and will pick that foot up. Now that you're up all the time, it's time to work you different. Your butt will not be back in that chair unless we are going to the zoo or something."

"The zoo?" Tony smirked. "Why are we going to the zoo?"

"Because I want to go to the zoo with you." Lucy teased. "And the movies, the aquarium, out to dinner, a night at my place."

"You're asking me out?" Tony laughed.

"I am," Lucy snickered. "Don't look so stunned. However, I think we need to work on some therapy and make I also have another idea."

Gibbs stood by watching as Tony and Lucy bantered back and forth; his heart felt lighter knowing that Tony had some sense of normalcy returning. He fought against the overprotective urges to allow his young man to flourish into someone that was beyond the disability.

Tony and Lucy worked at his therapy while making plans; the woman was very much in tune with how much Tony loved Gibbs and needed him in his life. Together, they came up with a plan to add to the gift of Tony's mobility for father's day.

"Gibbs?" Lucy smiled sweetly as she packed up all her therapy equipment. "Would you be so kind as to help me to take these things to my vehicle?"

Picking up the items that Lucy left behind, Jethro amusingly followed her to her SUV. "You seem to walk to talk to me alone, ma'am?"

"I do," Lucy giggled. "Tony's working on something so whatever he asks you don't look for any ulterior motives or hidden meanings; he's taken the role of son very seriously. Allow him to carry out his plan; he needs it and so do you."

"You're okay with whatever it is that he is doing?" Gibbs watched Lucy carefully.

"Tony's world is you." Lucy smiled as she hopped up to kiss Gibbs on the cheek.

"His life is you," Gibbs smiled. "Don't sell yourself short, kid."

"Gibbs," Tony yelled from the living room window. "I'm ordering a pizza."

"That isn't part of the plan," Lucy snorted. "He's got a one track mind."

"But he can eat it now," Gibbs scrubbed his hand over his face. "A year ago it was baby food; I will take pizza."

Lunch was quiet as Tony worked away at something on his laptop and Gibbs tried hard not to ask questions. Finally, a satisfied smile settled on Tony's face as he looked at the man he loved as a father.

"What?" Gibbs questioned softly.

"We're going on vacation," Tony beamed. "Me and you."

"Where are we going?" Gibbs' heart skipped a beat; his agent was back to being mischievous and plotting. "When are we going? I need to let Vance know."

"Already did," Tony laughed. "I have the email to approve ten days off. Go pack your bags; we're leaving tonight."

"Tonight?" Gibbs was stunned. "You sure do move quickly."

"I do," Tony smiled.

"What about your therapy? Your meds? Everything else that ..." Gibbs paused and remembered Lucy's words. "Never mind, you have it covered; I am sure."

"I do," Tony laughed. "This is going to be nice; I promise."

Tony set the coordinates for the GPS and made Gibbs drive. As they pulled up to the cabin with a lake big enough for a boat; Gibbs' heart melted even more for his boy. "Tony, this is amazing." Gibbs whispered as he got out and looked around.

"It belongs to a friend," Tony smiled. "You have to see the inside of the cabin; it's gorgeous."

"It has a hot tub, Tony. That's going to feel good for you." Gibbs pointed to the back room.

"It has work out equipment too," Tony laughed. "I'll be big and strong by the time we go home."

"When Lucy says it's okay; I thought maybe we could start working out together at the gym." Gibbs commented gently. "I miss working out with you."

"You're not afraid that I'll kick your ass?" Tony laughed.

"I know you would," Gibbs snorted. "Only one with enough guts to do it."

"Damn straight," Tony laughed. "Let's unpack and explore."

"Be careful," Gibbs cautioned. "Use the damn walker; you're going to give me a heart attack."

"I'll give you a heart attack, Leroy. If you don't stop nagging that boy of yours; he's looking pretty amazing from where I stand." Jackson came out of the back bedroom of the cabin.

"Dad," Gibbs face lit up.

"It's good to see you son." Jackson pulled his son into a tight hug.

"You too, dad." Gibbs returned the embrace; his heart had been yearning to see his father but with Tony's injury there hadn't been time.


	12. Chapter 12

"How's the steak coming son?" Jack questioned out the cabin door.

"Five minutes," Gibbs smiled back; he was enjoying the peace that the cabin brought.

"Dad?" Tony yelled out the door. "How much longer? I'm hungry."

"Five minutes," Gibbs laughed. "Playing the dad card doesn't get it done faster."

"It was worth a shot," Tony laughed.

"Glad to see you doing so well, son." Jackson stopped Tony in the doorway and hugged him. "I wasn't sure you were going to make it for a while there. All those tubes and machines; it was hard seeing you like that."

"You were there?" Tony questioned as he tried to think of the last time he had actually seen Jackson.

"I was for a couple days," Jack nodded. "That son of mine was beyond consolable at one point; Tim called me. Tony, do you remember what happened right before the accident?"

"I do," Tony nodded. "Gibbs didn't want me around so I went off hurt and upset. It wasn't the first time the team had hurt me; it was just.... It was Gibbs and it really hurt."

"How do you feel about it now?" Jack pushed softly as he watched his son listening from the porch.

"I realized that he needed some time alone to fall apart; he was still afraid to let me see him fall apart." Tony sighed. "I wish that he was comfortable enough to let me help him. He still hurts for Shannon and Kelly; I can't fix it but I think I could help."

"I think you could too,' Jack smiled softly. "It's just getting that damn stubborn boy of mine to let you. Let me see what I can do."

"Steak's ready," Gibbs called as he came through the door to give Tony a warning. "Ready to eat?"

"I was ready an hour ago," Tony joked. "I'm starving."

"You're always starving," Gibbs jabbed lightly. "He's like a growing teenager, I swear."

"Lucy says I need the fuel because I'm recovering." Tony dug into his steak and potatoes. "You have to keep feeding me; or she's going to be mad."

"Don't make Lucy mad," Gibbs shook his head. "Pretty sure that woman could take down a terrorist cell."

Tony laughed hard. "Can you see her packing a Sig?" Tony laughed harder. "I would love to see her spar with Tim."

"Now you're being devious," Gibbs joked.

"Seems to me that your boy is feeling much better," Jackson snorted; he was totally amused by the conversation between the two men.

"He's doing wonderful," Gibbs smiled with pride. "Very proud of him."

Jackson went off to bed with a book and a smile; he was with his boys which made his heart soar. By the time Gibbs made sure everything was locked up, Tony had gotten himself in the hot tub to soak.

"Looks like it's helping your back," Gibbs said with smile.

"I packed your trunks," Tony pointed to the trunks and towel he had brought with him. "Change and get in; your knee will like it."

"My knee?" Gibbs gave a smirk. "You're paying attention to my legs?"

"I know you need surgery on it," Tony said softly. "You won't let anyone take care of you so you're not going to do it."

"I don't know how to let people take care of me," Gibbs confessed; he figured he would start somewhere with Tony. "I don't know how to let go."

"When we go back," Tony smiled. "You're going to see my orthopedic surgeon; we'll see what he thinks needs done with your knee and we'll figure out the rest."

"Tony," Gibbs sighed as he looked up and saw the love and sincerity in his young man's face. "Okay, I will. That doesn't mean I'll agree to the surgery though."

"If I ask you to do it for me," Tony blushed. "Would you?"

‘I'll think about it," Gibbs promised as he eased himself into the hot tub with his son. "I'll seriously give it some thought; I know your only asking because you care."

"I do," Tony nodded. "The day of my accident; I pushed you and I'm sorry."

"You're apologizing to me?" Gibbs eyes burned with tears. "Tony, you have nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did; I was wrong. I wish I could take it all back; I would in a heartbeat. If we could get a do over so I could take away all that pain."

"I wouldn't," Tony shook his head. "I don't know why bad things happen to people Gibbs but sometimes good things come from bad things. I wouldn't have met Lucy; we wouldn't be where we are today."

"You see the upside to everything since the accident; don't you?" Gibbs smiled. "You're something else; that's for sure."

"Does having me living with you make you miss Kelly and Shannon more?" Tony's voice was soft; he knew he was treading into dangerous territory.

Gibbs was silent; he wasn't expecting Tony to bring up Shannon and Kelly just yet. He knew that it weighed heavily on his heart because he wanted to take way his pain but that wasn't something that he felt was possible.

The two men soaked in the warmth of the hot tub until Tony was ready to get out. As soon as they were out and changed, Tony's body was too relaxed to walk to the bedroom.

"I'll be right back," Gibbs eased Tony to the floor. "I brought a wheelchair because I didn't know where you were taking us or if there would be a great deal of walking."

Pulling the chair out of the back of the SUV, Gibbs closed the hatch and made his way to where he had left Tony only to find him pulling himself along the floor towards the bedroom.

"Hey," Gibbs put a hand on the trembling man's back. "Easy now; roll onto your back and we'll get you in the chair."

"No," Tony shook his head. "Never getting in a chair again, never!"

"Tony," Gibbs pinned his struggling boy to the floor to get him to calm down. "You're going to get in the chair so you can go to bed. It's not failure; you are too relaxed to manage to walk."

The fight went out of Tony's body allowing Gibbs to put him into the chair and pushed him to bed. Defeat was written all over his son's features. "Having you in my life doesn't make me miss them more, Tony. It helps me hurt less. When they died, I felt like my heart died. When I met you; there was something about you that restored the beat of my heart; you and the team are my family."

Easing Tony into the bed, Gibbs surprised his charge by crawling in next to him. "Boss?"

"Sleep, buddy." Gibbs pulled Tony close; he needed to have him where he could touch him tonight; there were too many demons that would try to sneak in both of their dreams tonight. "I'll walk you if you have dreams; you do the same for me."

Gibbs stirred several times his voice broken as he called out for his lost loves. Tony managed to soothe him back to sleep each time with a reassuring whisper. "On your six, Boss."

The light from the sunrise woke Gibbs; looking over at his young friend he was surprised to find him not only awake but with dark circles of exhaustion smudging his eyes. "Oh Tony." Gibbs brushed a gentle hand over Tony's hair. "I'm so sorry, son."

"No," Tony shook his head and started to sit up. "You needed me; nobody has needed me for a long time."

"I always need you," Gibbs whispered as he got up and round the bed to Tony's side. "You need rest; you're still healing. Get some sleep; I'll start breakfast and come get you when it is ready."

Jackson met his son in the doorway; his face a mix of emotions that all expressed love and concern. "Long night?"

"For Tony," Gibbs sighed. "We talked about the girls before we went to sleep last night; I wanted him close because I thought it would stop the dreams."

"Only it didn't?" Jackson questioned.

"No," Gibbs shook his head. "Tony did though; stayed up all night so I could sleep. He was too tired and relaxed to walk from the hot tub to the bed last night; I made it worse."

"Don't do that, son." Jackson cautioned. "The boy loves you and would do anything for you. Go get a shower and some clothes on while I start breakfast. Today, we rest so that boy can sleep. You'll take him breakfast and help him eat it; the same with lunch. He should be right as rain by supper."

Gibbs propped Tony up and fed him his breakfast; the need for sleep almost more pressing than the need to eat and take his medication. "Boss?" Tony mumbled as Gibbs gave him a drink to wash down his pills. "What if I can't be a good partner for Lucy?"

"What do you mean?" Gibbs had worried about certain aspects of Tony's relationship with Lucy himself.

"What if I can't make love to her?" Tony's eyes filled with tears.

"There are many ways to make love to a woman, Tony. You're going to be just fine; Lucy loves you with all her heart. Love like yours overcomes everything."

"You have a sweetheart, Tony?" Jackson smiled with pride. "I would love to meet your young lady."

"Tomorrow," Tony mumbled. "She's coming tomorrow with my present for you."

Lucy arrived shortly before 7 a.m. her arms filled with breakfast and presents. There was a sparkle in them that Gibbs had not seen before and it made his heart soar. "Hey handsome fellas!"

Tony kissed his lady passionately; his body molding to hers as they hugged and held each other. "I missed you."

"Me too," Lucy panted as she pulled away. "Let's eat so we can give them their present."

"A boat?" Gibbs smiled. "You rented us a boat for the day?"

"Not us," Tony shook his head. "You and your dad; there is a cooler packed and waiting for you on it. Go spend some time with your dad; I have had your attention for close to a year. He needs some time with his son. Lucy is staying while you are gone."

Gibbs reluctantly left Tony in Lucy's care; he knew she was more than capable but worried still that something would happen while he was away.

"She's a good catch," Jack smirked as they climbed on the boat. "Going to make him a very happy man; like Shannon did you."

"If she doesn't break his heart," Gibbs sighed. "He's got a lot wrong with him medically still; I don't want her walking out because one day she decides she cannot handle it."

"Maybe because he has a lot going on medically, she will stick by him and he will work through those obstacles one by one. He wasn't supposed to live, Leroy, let alone walk, talk and do all the things he is doing now."

Tony made love to the woman of his heart while Gibbs was gone. The coupling had been so touching and beautiful that both parties were in tears while they physically connected with one another.

"I was so scared," Tony whispered against Lucy's lips. "That I wouldn't be able to be intimate with you; that I couldn't make love to you."

"Sex is only one part of our relationship," Lucy wrapped her legs around Tony's waist to pull him deeper inside of her. "We would have found other ways."

"You want me to stop?" Tony teased as he bit her bottom lip then kissed it.

Lucy's body made her answer known as Tony let out a groan. "I want you to make me forever yours."

The two lovers were snuggled together under the covers when Gibbs came back to check on them at lunch time.

"Told you they were fine, son." Jack pulled his son out of the room. "Looks like Tony doesn't have anything to worry about from the smile on his little lady's sleeping face.

"I don't want to talk about that," Gibbs groaned but then smiled. "Good job, son." Gibbs whispered as he took his father back to the boat to enjoy the rest of their day.

"Think they'd name a baby after me?" Jackson questioned.


	13. Chapter 13

Jackson loved Lucy; the young woman spent a great deal of time with the older man making him feel like he was the most special person in the world.

"Tony, I think I have fallen in love with Jackson." Lucy said teasingly. "I am moving to Stillwater to work in his store. I'll write you from time to time."

Tony laughed; he knew that he had Lucy's heart but Jackson was a close second at the moment. "You'd love the store and Stillwater; it's a very small town."

"I love you," Lucy kissed Tony's deeply. "I want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you have made me feel." Lucy's voice cracked with emotion as she held onto Tony like he was the last person on earth.

"I love you too," Tony held Lucy tight; his heart wanted to ask for her hand in marriage but his head knew they hadn't spent enough time together to really know one another. Holding her tighter; Tony thought about what the right thing to do would be. Deciding on leaving things the same for the reasons going through his head; Tony pulled back a little.

Lucy drove back to the city that night; she had work waiting for her. As she drove off, Gibbs walked up to Tony and bumped shoulders with.

"What are you thinking?" Gibbs questioned softly.

"That I don't deserve her," Tony sighed. "I don't deserve that kind of love."

"Why not?" Gibbs prodded gently.

"Look at me," Tony turned towards Gibbs. "I'm damaged. Nobody in their right minds wants this."

"Stop that," Gibbs chided. "You're not damaged."

"Really?" Tony tossed his cane at Gibbs. "Watch me walk and tell me I'm not damaged."

Four steps out, Tony fell landing in the soft grass. "Tony!" Gibbs rushed to his side. "Are you hurt?"

"Stop," Tony pushed Gibbs away. "Please just stop."

Pulling back, Gibbs looked helplessly at his younger friend. "What can I do?"

"Fix me," Tony sobbed. "I'm tired of being broken; I am tired of hurting. I am tired, Gibbs. I'm so tired."

"Okay, Tony. I'm going to fix it. Let's get you up; get you in the house." Gibbs hoisted the sobbing man to his feet and half carried, half dragged him into the house. "Dad turn back the covers on the bed and open the windows."

Gibbs poured Tony into the bed; taking care to slip off his shoes before covering him. Going to the bag in the corner, he pulled out a pill bottle that he always kept handy but until this day had never used.

Tony was out twenty minutes after taking the pill. Reading the bottle, Gibbs set his watch for the next dose.

"Son?" Jackson was confused.

"He's exhausted, dad. We've been waiting for this to happen. He's been working and fighting every day since the accident. This is not the first time he's broke down over his own disability. Last time, he called his father, almost drowned and ended up with a slight case of hypothermia."

"That's when you got the pills?" Jack questioned.

"Yes, been carrying them with me ever since just in case." Gibbs sighed. "He'll sleep now; I can't stand seeing him in this kind of pain. I thought maybe Lucy would change that but loving her seems to have made him dwell on what he's lost."

"How long do you drug him for?" Jackson sighed.

"Until those shadows in his eyes disappear," Gibbs responded as he moved to get his son's pajamas out and get him changed to sleep. "I'll watch him; you can go do what you need to do."

"Will he wake up to eat?" Jack asked softly.

"He will," Jethro nodded. "We'll have to feed him but he'll be awake enough to eat and use the bathroom."

It was the third day of Tony sleeping, Gibbs propped him up against the headboard to eat breakfast. As soon as Tony's eyes opened, there was a peace in them that Gibbs had longed to see.

"You're better," Gibbs smiled. "How do you feel?"

"Tired," Tony mumbled. "No more pills, please."

"No," Gibbs shook his head. "I think we can wake you up now, son."

"Can we go out on the boat today?" Tony sighed as Gibbs fed him some pancakes.

"We can," there was a smile on Gibbs face. "We'll take some blankets so you can sleep if you want."

"I want to smell the air as it comes off the water," Tony's eyes drifted closed but his mouth opened for each bite.

"You're at peace," Gibbs noticed the calmness.

"She loves me," Tony sighed. "She love me for who I am now not what I was."

"You're right she does," Gibbs smiled. "I am going to miss having you around."

"No you won't," Tony snickered. "I'm not leaving you; I can't leave you yet."

"If you're life is with Lucy; I want you to be happy." Gibbs swallowed around the lump in his throat.

"My life is with you right now," Tony smirked. "I didn't forget about your knee; you're going to need me."

"I will always need you," Gibbs hugged Tony tight, "always."

"Love, if it is true love will wait for me. I want to give it time to grow more; I want to be even better than I am right now if I marry her. I want to dance at our wedding without a cane or someone holding me steady. I need to be a better man; a real man."

"You are a real man," Gibbs argued. "The best man I know."

"In your eyes," Tony sighed. "Not my own."

"When we go back home," Gibbs took a deep breath; he knew exactly what he needed to do now to make Tony feel whole. "Will you go with me to the orthopedic doctor?"

"I will," Tony's eyes filled with tears. "I'll be with you every step of the way."

Taking the dishes to the kitchen, Gibbs was surprised to find his father waiting for him. "You're going to have surgery?"

"I'm going to talk to a doctor," Gibbs corrected. "We'll see from there. The knee is getting worse and I think Tony needs to be needed right now."

"So you're going to have knee surgery that you have refused to have for the last ten years so that Tony feels better about himself?" Jack tried to sort it all out.

"Yes," Gibbs nodded. "If I am a candidate."


End file.
